Stupid Spammers

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UPDATE: I’ve decided to edit out the URLs, and allow the spam comments on this article, for the sheer amusement of our readers.  So, feel free to make some snide comments of your own!

Like many blogs these days, our blog gets plenty of spam comments.  Fortunately, our anti-spam measures are formidable and very rarely does a spam comment actually make it through the defenses and into the comments section.  But all these spam comments are saved for review, so even though you, the Reader doesn’t see them, I do.  I thought I would show you what some of the stupidest comments look like.

Vimax: I am a poor man from the African region, I need money to survive by comment on your blogs / forums or guestbook to make my website appear in search engine. I am getting desperate Now! I know you’ll laugh while reading this comment !!! Here is my websites vimax PLEASE SEND YOUR HELP BY APPROVING MY COMMENT! Regards: PoormanBH2011

Yes, you’re right – I did laugh when I read this, because you just wasted your time trying to post this on our blog.  Why don’t you try actually fixing your SEO instead of spamming people?

Medical Transcription: Do you people have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!

Yes, we do have a Facebook page.  The reason you couldn’t find it is because you looked on Twitter for it.  Does your Mommy know you’re using her computer?

The lengths that some spammers will go to make their comments sound legit, is considerable:

Tepliniat: I’ve been to extraordinary buffets in Taipei at hotels like the Shangri La and the Grand Hyatt with counters unconditional of active shellfish and sushi and curry and ice cream and fancy desserts and all sorts of different cuisine. Does anyone know if such a uncomfortable exists in Madrid? It’s a long opportunity, but I’d be thankful in the interest recommendations in search a unique dinner. Thanks! 

or this one:

KJDavid: I’m planning on getting my real estate agents license in the next few weeks. I’ve heard that Century 21 and some other companies have their own courses. Is it better to attend their course or just a regular local real estate school. Also what companies are good for new agents.  Any advice you can give is appreciated! Thanks!  Oh and I’ll be getting my license in Tenessee.

What they don’t seem to understand is, no matter how “genuine” the text of the message sounds, unless they stay on topic their comment will stick out from the rest anyway.

Shower Trays: Ooh shoot i just wrote a big comment and as soon as i hit reply it came up blank! Please tell me it worked right? I dont want to submit it again if i do not have to! Either the blog glitced out or i am an idiot, the second option doesnt surprise me lol. thanks for a great blog! (Article: Titty Tea Party)

Let’s just say the blog didn’t “glitced” and leave it at that.

PS3 Bundles: Wow, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done. (Article: Eye Trauma Drama)

Chinese spammers will often try to win us over with their words of wisdom (note: it doesn’t work!):

Vallephenny: Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
 
alhjgyikk: You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

What’s the point of these, you may ask?  Well, each one of these spam comments had a link to some site they are pushing.  Of course I’m not going to provide the link to their site.

Most of the spam comments are just a bother because I have to read through them to make sure nothing legit got marked as spam:

appliance repair: Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love studying more on this topic. If attainable, as you acquire expertise, would you thoughts updating your blog with extra information? This can be very helpful for me. (Article: We Sold Our Blog!)
 
Doyle Christmau: Well, the article is really the sweetest on that precious topic. I suit in with your conclusions and also will certainly thirstily look forward to your approaching updates. Simply just saying thanks can not simply just be enough, for the fantasti c lucidity in your writing. I will certainly directly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Excellent work and much success in your business endeavors!
 
Carmelita Sacarello: That is some kind of inspirational stuff. By no means knew that opinions could be this varied. Thanks for all the enthusiasm to will offer you such helpful information here. (Article: Bicycle Riding and Stray Dogs)
 
bingo online games: Hello, entertaining weblog. I’ve thought about attemtping to create my own blog.How are you finding the blog software you’re using? Is there a ton of maintenance that goes along with it?. Would be greatful for your advice. (Article: Dunkin Donuts in Taiwan)

WordPress is a great platform, and Spam Karma 2 keeps idiots like you from spamming it.  My advice to you is – sure, go ahead and start a blog.  Put a lot of time and effort into it and build it up so you get lots of readers.  Then you’ll have to deal with morons like you who spam it all the time, and MAYBE YOU’LL STOP DOING IT TO OTHER BLOGS!

viagra: Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

If I do, will you keep spamming it?

how to get rid of chicken pox scars: I saw one more thing concerning this on another blog. Youve obviously spent time with this. Well done! (Article: Bicycle Riding and Stray Dogs)

Yeah, I get the chicken pox every time a stray dog chases me while riding.

Jayden: I truly do benefit from the method in which you could have presented this matter plus it does supply us a considerable amount of fodder for consideration. However, thanks to just what exactly I’ve experienced, Freezing wish as other reviews pile on that any of us today stay with issue whereas in the definitely not start upon a tirade involving some other sort of news du jour. In any event, appreciate you this outstanding piece whilst I can’t really concur by using it in totality, I respect the perspective. (Article: Neiwan Grill Party)

What the heck are you talking about?  It was an article about a grill party we had near a river in Taiwan.  Just what “fodder for consideration” is there?  I’m not sure you were even writing in English.

Sometimes, the spammer will refer to the article name in the comment, in order to fool software or an administrator:

fun math games for kids: I have learned result-oriented things through your blog Titty Tea Party | TheNHBushman.com. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. Thanks for the recommendations you have discussed in Titty Tea Party (Article: Titty Tea Party)

“Result-oriented things” from the Titty Tea Party?  Sorry that didn’t work out for you.

christine: James E. Klein was a Veteran of World War II and served as Second Lieutenant in the Pacific Air Zone in the 373rd Bomb Squadron, 308th Bombardment Group—he is a good soldier.For James E. Klein,WE salute you.CONDOLENCES to the family. <SPAM LINK WAS HERE> thank you. (Article: The End Of An Era)

How dare you spam a memorial post about my father, who you know NOTHING about and HAVE NEVER MET!  Your attempt at personalizing this spam comment has backfired and now your domain, email and IP are BLACKLISTED FOREVER!

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only spam comment on that article.  It just shows that the spammers don’t bother to actually read the articles to judge them for content:

replica patek philippe watches: I consider, that you commit an error. I suggest it to discuss. Write to me in PM, we will communicate. (Article: The End Of An Era)

No, I’ll communicate to you right here, out in the open.  You are a spammer, and a stupid one at that.

Winfred Falkenhagen : Greetings! I’ve been reading your weblog for some time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Atascocita Tx! Just wanted to say keep up the excellent work! (Article: The End Of An Era)

My father died, and you want to give me a “shout out?”  You say you’re from TX but your IP is from Holland.  If by “excellent work” you mean keeping spammers off our blog, thanks!

real air jordans foqwer sale: Hey!!I’ll definitely have to check out Sean’s post. And I love the idea of blogging about a failure and how you learned from it. I’ll have to do that one soon. (Article: The End Of An Era)

There is no one here called “Sean.”  Are you calling my father a failure???  YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO LEARN FROM YOUR FAILURES, SUCH AS YOUR FAILURE TO SUCCESSFULLY SPAM OUR BLOG!

Sometimes, spammers’ comments are priceless:

Terina: Several of these replies on this post are garbage, You should delete them.  (Article: Surgery Update)

Yes, I was thinking of yours in particular.

Believe it or not, sometimes spammers sell spam-fighting tools!  Yes, it’s true:

stop spam plugin: You should check this wordpress plugin…  […] Wonderful results against spam links using this plugin […]…… (Article: Surgery Update)

The plugin I’m using now seems to work just fine.  Wouldn’t you agree?

Here’s a spammer that is selling spamming tools to help spammers get comments into blogs:

Stuart Fette:
Over 351848 Auto Approve Links 32485 Unique
PR4 – 6
PR3 – 88
PR2 – 84
PR1 – 68
Download your free list…
http://(spammer server for the file)
To try the free samples please use the following settings
1. Fast poster timeout set to 60 seconds
2. Max the “Slow and Manual Poster Links” in the settings menu to 4096KB (this affects the fast poster too)
3. Set connections to 20 (Settings -> Adjust Maximum Connections)
4. Set “Randomize comment poster blogs list” in settings.
5. Use good quality comments.
6. After completion, do a check links on all, you will find that most of the failed ones got accepted
7. Use good proxy.
You should get a greater than 75% success rate with the fast poster. On checking the links you should get a greater than 85% rate.

So I guess this means our blog is in that 15% category?

I’ll leave you with this last one – which represents the level of stupidity that I have to deal with on a daily basis:

replica cartier: Read you article, make me have a deeper understanding to life, it is different meaning for me.  (Article: The Never-Ending Road Work Behind Our House)

Yeah, when I was writing the article about the road work going on behind our house, I just knew that it would have a profound impact on a certain cross-section of people.

UPDATE: I got this very first spam on this very article, on the day I wrote it: “Helpful info. Lucky me I found your website accidentally, and I’m stunned why this accident did not happened in advance! I bookmarked it.

See what I mean?

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46 comments

  1. The algorithms generating this spam are getting more and more sophisticated. I was quite surprised when they started to include snippets of the article they comment on.

    For some of the posts it now takes a while before you can tell it was spam.

    Please click on this link for similar information on … Haha – just kidding. 🙂

    1. yes Stefan, it’s a battle and the spammers keep getting more sophisticated each day. i have nothing but good things to say about the Spam Karma 2 WordPress plugin. it really works wonders. only a very small percentage gets through. i have it set on the most aggressive level though. thanks and take care Stefan.

  2. These are hilarious, and I love your reactions to them. At the same time, it’s sad the extent to which spam has infected the Internet. One of the reasons I gave up on my first blog was that LiveJournal just seemed incapable or unwilling to do anything to stop the spam tsunami.
    Kaminoge´s last post ..Ticked off

    1. Jim, i can certainly understand how frustrated you were with spam and not being able to deal with it well on the LiveJournal platform. but the spammers keep making my point, spamming this very article with comments praising the information and how they really needed it. pitiful! soon i’ll have enough for a Part 2! thanks Jim.

  3. You have just scared me off from starting a blog with ghost stories. The poor grammar and misspellings give away that English is barely known.
    (There is a new, or fairly new, Cabella’s on the mainland about 45 mins. from where we live; I think about your shopping trip to their outlet in Kittery every time we go by there. The truth is I would love another trip to the Kittery Outlets.)
    How is Hui-Chen doing? Can you blog more about the coming baby and the changes to your lives?

    1. hi Carolyn. yes, spam can certainly be a kill-joy when you work hard to make something good and then you have to fight them off like sharks.

      cool on the Cabela’s! you should drop by and check it out!

      HC is doing well. we’ve decided to not publish too much about our baby until she arrives, and then we’ll introduce her to everyone. i expect that our lives are going to be extremely different from now on! thanks for asking 🙂 take care, Carolyn.

  4. Hi NH – just means you are writing a successful blog – I hardly get ANY spam – ha ha ha – so your blog is a success with lots of traffic – granted, not all of it is the traffic you want but I doubt they would pay any interest to your blog if you didn’t have a lot of traffic.

    I must say – it has taken me some time to read this post – some of the spam is ridiculous – Google has fantastic spam facilities so I hardly get any in my inbox – but I never check my spam box so not sure how many real emails i am missing.
    Paul´s last post ..Cycling the Twin Peaks in Taipei

    1. yes Paul, i guess i should be grateful for spam – it’s validation that i’ve made it, somehow, lol. i’m also grateful for Spam Karma II which is what i use to fight comment spam on our blog. thanks Paul.

      1. Hi MJ,

        Actually I thought you were running a blogger platform – I use blogger and the spam detection seems to work fine – I sometimes drop into the spam folder – just to make sure – and it catches most of it – I very seldom have to delete spam comments as they are filtered out. Not sure, maybe you are running on a different platform.

        Anyway, I know the spam is irritating but you also have a lot of good folks adding comments to your posts so enjoy 🙂 . Cheers, and have a great day

        Paul
        Paul´s last post ..Bunny Chows in Taipei @ Toast Bar and Bistro

        1. hi Paul. we use WordPress here at TheNHBushman.com. we started out on Blogger, and then exported it from there, and imported it to our hosted WP site. the import process worked perfectly and we have every single article here from the old site, including comments. if a reader uses the old blogger URL s/he will be re-directed here to the hosted domain. yes you are right: we have some great commentators and we’re very happy to have their comments. currently we have 5, 629 comments (including this one) on 842 articles. thanks Paul.

  5. Hey there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog
    platform are you using for this site? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.
    Charla´s last post ..Charla

    1. yeah you’re way off topic. this is a WordPress blog with Spam Karma 2. the only reason that your (edited) spam comment is here is because i wanted to make fun of you.

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    just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks?
    If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you can
    advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any help is very much appreciated.

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  12. rather good written article. It will be helpful to anybody who usess it, along with myself. Keep up the good work – i will definitely read more posts.

    1. thanks Ehtel. sometimes i think that all i do is provide spammers like you, a vehicle for free advertising. it’s nice to be appreciated though, even if it does come from a total fool like you. btw how’s the weather in South Brisbane?

  13. I just want to mention I’m beginner to blogging and site-building and really enjoyed this web blog. Most likely I’m want to bookmark your blog . You certainly have amazing article content. Cheers for sharing your website page.

    1. hi “Fletcher”. you’re a beginner to site building, which may explain why you spam sites. it’s because you haven’t yet experienced trying to make something nice just to have dogs puking all over it in the way of comment spam. thank you for the compliment. i also thought that making fun of tossers like you was “amazing article content” so i’m glad that even those who are on the blunt end of the stick are acknowledging my writing kung-fu.

  14. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  15. Hey there. I discovered your site by way of Google at the same time as looking for just a comparable topic, your web site got here up. It appears good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come again later.

    1. so, let me get this straight: you were searching Google for “stupid spammers” and you found our site? what exactly is a “comparable topic?” maybe you’re just a stupid spammer yourself and you’re making stuff up just to get a comment in our blog. btw, that’s called “lying” in case your mother didn’t teach you that.

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