I’ve been wanting to write about this for some time. Every country has its dumb TV shows. Japanese TV shows are known for being outrageous and yet I find those shows to be entertaining at least. Same goes for Taiwan television. Some of those shows that have ordinary people jumping through hoops or making up raps can be fun and I admit that I watch them sometimes. But, when I stop and think about all the dumb TV shows coming out these days, and especially those shows emanating from the US, I can feel my IQ lowering.
Here is my list of dumb TV shows (plus my personal nickname for each show).
Show Name / Bushman’s Nickname
Battlestar Galactica / Battlestar Lactica: I am a huge fan of the original show. What is passed off as BG these days is a version where Starbuck is female (who in my opinion would be more suitable for working at Starbucks instead) and so is Boomer! Sorry, my suspension of believability can only be stretched so far. Starbuck and Boomer are supposed to be battle-hardened, older experienced men. So, how about Harrison Ford and Samuel L. Jackson? Someone please explain how/why this show got financing when great shows like Babylon 5 and Firefly got the crapper? The fake sex and “realism” had my eyes glazing over in sec-cons. The new Cylons looked cool but since they are all CGI it cost more money to show them so they don’t appear very often. Pffft!
American Idol / American Midol: When I am forced to endure even one minute of this show I get a headache and a queasy stomach. I went to a restaurant in Taoyuan with some visiting friends from the US, and the boss actually put on a record by William Hung – just for us. No! Please, put on something else! How about some Taiwanese music? All met with blank smiles. Now this show has clones all around the world. Great. We’ll have even more William Hung types doing records while legitimately talented people get passed up. Figures. I did watch an “outtakes” show when we were in the US recently and I couldn’t believe my eyes. The truth is, as a former music industry professional, I would be embarassed to be associated with that show.
The Great Asian Race / The Great Loss of Face: I characterize this show as “foreigners acting rude” as they do stupid stuff to gain something which isn’t worth doing in the first place. Sure, the contestants travel all over, but they don’t stop to see or do anything, and in their rushing and impatience with local people, they make bad impressions on everyone they meet. Great PR vehicle, numbnuts. This line taken from the show will put it all in perspective for you: “You are the worst person at this I’ve ever met.” WTF?
Miami Ink / Miami Stink: What is the fascination with seeing people who have basically nothing going for them, getting tattoos and tattooing each other? There is some woman on the show now, who has kind of a classic look to her, but she’s covered with all these tattoos and, well, I think she has ruined her looks. To each her own and certainly she’s entitled to do what she wants, and I’m entitled to say it looks nasty. So, now they got a new show and I’ll be dodging that one with the remote too. I can see getting a tattoo from a tribal leader after a successful hunt, but not going into a strip mall shop and picking a pattern off the wall. What I find particularly disturbing is how someone will come into the tattoo shop with an idea and then get a tattoo of a pictured drawn by some guy right there on the spot. I think I’d spend just a *tad* more effort on something so permanent, like perhaps hiring a professional artist to create the artwork. That is just one of those shows that baffle me when I think about what keeps it on the air.
American Chopper / American Hopper: I wish that show would go straight into the hopper. I do not give 2 craps what the boss of that shop things, does or says. It’s a mode of transportation people, not a lifestyle. That is, unless you’ve got nothing else going on in your life.
Queer Eye / Queer Guys: If someone is gay, that is no one’s business but their own and that is their own choice. What I cannot stand about these shows is that the gay men seem to be all about being gay. I’m straight, but I don’t live my life in a celebration of being straight (if you see my point). I just do what I do and my orientation isn’t an issue and never comes up in conversation (and shouldn’t). I also refuse to believe that one’s orientation makes one more or less suitable to judge fashion. Let’s face it, none of the gay men on those shows would ever wear a bush shirt, so tell me – what do they know anyway? Lame. Not funny.
Lost / Lost Plot: I watched it once. They got more stuff than the castaways on Gilligan’s Island but none of the fun. I’ll pass, thanks. The ads send me scurrying for the remote.
Survivor / Survivor Wannabees: Once I realized how fake this show was, I couldn’t endure watching it for another minute. The deal is to win the game by outlasting your opponents. They vote you off the island, as if the real game of survival follows the political rules of men. Every contestant signs a waiver in order to get on the show. The waiver limits liability right? The obvious way to win the show is to just slit everyone’s throat during the first night and wake up the next morning, the winner. Duh. Those people would be whining their asses off just camping with me. “What do you mean there’s no tent? We have to make our own shelter?” I haven’t heard any ads for this show in some time so maybe it’s gone for good. Let’s hope so.
Now, on the other hand, great shows have disappeared! Here is a list of shows that I enjoy watching:
- The Original Iron Chef, with Takeshi Kaga
- Numbers (which is still on in Taiwan)
- Babylon 5
I’d love to hear about the shows our readers like and dislike too. I’m sure many of you like these shows I’ve trashed but that’s what makes life interesting!