Home Attack

Photos by MJ Klein

It was just after 3:00 am when I heard a crash and what sounded like breaking glass. I was asleep of course so I couldn’t be sure what happened, exactly. I distinctly remember the sound of something on the roof maybe? Definitely that sound of something hitting concrete and I swear, sheet metal. I leaped out of bed, flashlight in hand and did a floor-by-floor inspection of our house. I found nothing. I looked outside and I saw a familiar person walking around, smoking (that guy is always smoking). This guy is out and about in his parking lot office at all hours of the morning. He has friends joining him in his office (with blacked-out windows) very late at night. I guess the business of running a parking lot with 7 or 8 customers is so demanding that he has to work late at night to keep up with all that paperwork. I saw another person hurriedly exiting the tall building across the street, carrying a bucket. Mind you, this building is unoccupied and there were no lights on. I’m telling you, there is some kind of funny business going on in my neighborhood.

The following morning I went into our second-floor office and I got a big surprise:

Cowardly Home Attack
Closeup of first hit

I found holes in two of our office windows. The windows are built into a corner of the building and are at right angles to each other. In this photo I used my thumb for scale.

Cowardly Home Attack
Each hole knocked a nice spall out of the glass.

Cowardly Home Attack
Closeup of second hit

Naturally, being a professional field investigator, I analyzed what happened and will now present my findings to you.

First, let’s take a look at the impact sites relative to each other:

Cowardly Home Attack
Viewing the following photos large size will help you see the details to which I refer

As I said, the windows are at right angles to each other. Someone threw a rock that first hit the rear window (the left one in this photo), after which the rock immediately ricocheted and subsequently hit the front window. In this case, the height of the impact point on the second window is higher because the rock was thrown from below and angled upwards. In this shot you can see how the impact on the right is higher than the one on the left. The first impact nearly shattered the window as there is a split in the glass that didn’t happen on the second hit. The rock lost much of it’s energy on that first hit.

The nearly simultaneous occurrence of the two impact events explains why I only heard one event.

Cowardly Home Attack
The sound of “something hitting concrete” can be explained because directly underneath these 2 windows is a concrete pad. In this photo the very bottom of the first impact window can be seen in the upper left. The rock hit the second window and by that point had lost most of it’s energy. It dropped to this pad and rolled off it. Just beyond the concrete pad is the sheet metal awning covering the carport.

Cowardly Home Attack
This is the sheet metal awning outside the concrete pad. It’s a bit difficult to see, but immediately to the right of the awning in this shot, is part of the dark green awning that covers the front of the house. There is a short vertical wall that I believe may have contained the rock and deflected it onto the awning.

Cowardly Home Attack
This shot shows both windows as seen from street level.

Cowardly Home Attack
If you look carefully you can see the hole in the second impact window at the top left. Now look at the bottom right, next to the concrete pole. That is where the rock fell after bouncing down the awning. The rock is still there.

Cowardly Home Attack
I thought it was a nice touch for the coward to leave the rock there for me to find.

There is one aspect that the coward who threw this rock failed to take into account. The dog across the street. This is the dog that barks every morning when the mailman comes, every evening when the trash truck comes, every time a strange person walks by, every time another dog wanders past – basically all the time. This dog is not capable of determining something unusual or out of the ordinary, so he just barks at anything he feels like barking at. He does not however, bark at me or certain other individuals with whom he has become acquainted. So, I want this point to sink in:

Someone threw a rock and hit 2 of our windows, making a loud crash of breaking glass, followed by the sound of a rock rattling it’s way down a concrete pad to a sheet metal awning and then falling to the street. The person who threw the rock was standing in the street in front of our house, in plain view of this dog.

The dog did not make a single sound….

I know who you are.

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  1. My money is on the idiot neighbor. Probably got drunk and his true nature was revealed. It’s time to set up a sting operation?

    If I were you, I would wrap up the rock nice and pretty and leave it on his doorstep!…lol

    1. David » lately i’ve been wanting to do some primitive camping. i feel a need to keep up my bush skills. so maybe i should take that rock and make a primitive tool out of it so i can bash the skull of whomever threw it. what do you think?

    1. Carrie » it’s escalating but we’re not doing anything to ramp it up. we went to the Blue Sky and came home the next evening. this happened later, overnight.
      the police won’t do anything because they have no power. Taiwan really isn’t a country of rule of law. the police don’t enforce the law, they administer the law. but it works in our favor too. if the police can’t do anything to them, they can’t do anything to us either.

  2. I cannot believe this fool has resorted to this. I remember the pictures of him with the police officer and the stupid grin on his face. I am sorry to here this has happened MJ and hope you can work it out. I know the police were not helpful last time.

    I have been reading Carrie’s blog, top class and fantastic pictures. Thanks mate as now I have another blog I am going to be hooked on.


    Brunty’s last blog post..Thailand. Driving lessons, a lake, houses and land for sale.

    1. Brunty » Carrie’s blog is top notch, so i’m glad i could introduce you to her. btw, she is a big fan of your blog now too :). don’t worry about this latest episode Brunty. mei pen rai my friend.

  3. I think it might be time to conjure up some Abenaki tribal powers. Don your breechcloth and set alight a pyre out front of his place in order to draw out the spirits of the great elders from your part of the woods…that will have him rethinking his approach, yes?

    1. David » back in New Hampshire i would just set up a table outside and clean my guns for a few hours. then i would load them, while very carefully (and obviously) wiping down each round and magazine for prints.

  4. Very CSI of you MJ,

    What’s up with that clown? Is it you or your wife he doesn’t like? Is the whole block full of weirdos? Hope you can relocate soon.

    1. owshawng » HC’s mother came here one day and the neighbor across the street had only one question for her: “why don’t they like dogs?” they can’t get their head around the fact that we like dogs – just not noisy, barking dogs, whether stray or owned. when i yell out the window for the dog to shut up at 1AM, i’m being unreasonable. the owner feels no embarrassment or remorse for ruining the peace and tranquility of the neighborhood because, well he’s too stupid to know what that is. i like this area and i like places like Shao-hui’s but the fact is, people in this area aren’t too bright.

  5. In a country so full of decent human beings, it is sad that those whose behavior and values make their own lives a living hell have to resort to such cowardly tactics to force some of their own hell into your life.

    MJ, have you thought about engaging this asshole in a friendly conversation in which you, big grin on your face, say something like “Yeah, some asshat threw rocks at our window the other night. We’re not going to do anything about it this time, but if anything like that happens again, we’ll call upon certain members of our network who have the ability to solve the problem for us. Oh! Gotta go. See ya.”?

    The only problem I can see is with the translation of “asshat” into Mandarin. I’d personally favor “wangbadan” over “pigutou.” :).

    Truett Black’s last blog post..One Night in Taipei: Business Entertainment, Chinese Style

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