TheNHBushman.com

Hui-Chen and I moved into a new apartment last week. Last night we came home from the airport very late and parked our car in the same spot that we have parked it in since we moved here. This evening when we went to get into our car to drive to the local night market, we found that our car had been vandalized.

On the passenger side, I noticed that someone had hit the car with a blunt instrument and left this dent.

The really bad news is that Hui-Chen discovered that our door locks had been glued and we cannot operate the locks with our key.

Immediately in front of us, this car has handwriting on it. It says “Don’t Park.” Does this sound like some random kid’s prank to you?

After that, I noticed that our car had handwriting on it too. Difficult to read in the dark, it must have been done during the daytime. Look very closely at the large version of this photo and you will just barely see the red marker.

Here we see a failed initial attempt at writing on the hood, which was abandoned in favor of the windshield.

Now, what in the world would someone be writing “Don’t Park” on the car, and then gluing the locks for? Do you think it co-incidence that there is a parking lot immediately adjacent to where we are parking?

We called the police. Even though they concede that there is a connection between the white car and ours having writing on it, they are not going to bother to contact the owner of that car. Nice, huh? Neither did the police check to see if the door locks on the white car are glued. I did. They are. I asked the police if they think its possible that the owner of the parking lot did this. They said it is possible but did not agree with me that its likely. They are however going to call him on the phone tomorrow and they aren’t even going to ask him if he did it. What do you think he would say anyway? (apparently the pussy cops here don’t just ask people if they did something or not - fucking brilliant strategy). I asked them who else would it be? Who would care? I asked the police if they would tow our car away even if its in one of the so-called “red line zones” and they answered that they would not. They also did not see any reason to connect someone calling to tow the cars away with this crime.

The police did agree with me on one thing though: They agreed that someone purposefully fucked with us. A simple note would have done the job, but no, they had to glue our door locks. Nice touch! That earned you an ass-kicking.

The place were we parked does block access to some unused parking spaces that enter directly from the street, in some bizarre manner with locking chains. I would not blame a parking lot owner who had our car towed for blocking the spaces. Someone writing “don’t park” would indicate that the problem is the placement of the vehicles and not some personal (or random) reason for the vandalism. However, nothing can explain why our car was actually hit with something, and the locks glued. Also, I see no logical reason why the criminal should write on the car, if in fact it was the lot owner who wanted us to move our car. No, this person took something based in business and made it personal.

I’ve made a short crime scene video clip that I will amend to this entry after its been “approved” by Google Video. In the meantime, I have a plan to entrap this lot owner if he indeed is the criminal. What he doesn’t know is, he fucked with the wrong guy. I’m not some timid Taiwanese who will just say “oh well, its Taiwan” and give it up. Sorry dude. You made this personal, and now that I live in Taiwan I have to keep face.

After all, you made me miss my favorite night market and also the fried oysters and draft beer that I look forward to every Monday night. You’re mine. Bitch!